Send us the funny things your kids say or do to 'post at stuffkidssay dot com' and we'll post them here.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Confusing Mommy And Daddy

A mom is entertaining her 6-month old.
Mom: "Say ma-ma, ma-ma!"
Baby: "Pa-pa, pa-pa!"

I Am Sexy And I Know It

A 5 year old boy and his 4 year old brother are singing along to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" song.
5-year old: "I'm sixty and I know it!"
4-year old: "I'm ninety and I know it!"
5-year old: "No, stop it! You are saying it wrong!"

Career Decision Timing

A mother notices that her 5 year old has a worried look on his face while he stares at one of his bare legs.
Mother: "Sweetie, is everything ok?"
5-year old son: "I haven't chosen a career yet and I can't decide."
Mother: "You still have many years before you need to make that decision."
5-year old son: "But I already have hair on my legs!"

Friday, December 9, 2011

Fancy Lion

Daughter: Santa says "Roar! Roar!".
Mother: Why?
Daughter: Because Santa is a fancy lion!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I Peed In My Pants

Dad: Do you have to go pee-pee?
Daughter: No, I alweady went pee-pee in my pants.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

He's a Cannibal

A father is in a room with his two kids.
Older son, talking about his brother: "He's naked in my room? He's a cannibal!"
Father: "What?"
Older son, talking about his brother: "Oops, I mean uncivilized."

Washing Clothes

After telling my 5 year old to pick his dirty socks up out of the floor and put them in the
laundry so I could wash them, he looked at me as serious as could be and said:
5-year old: "I tried that before, it didn't work"
I love this crazy kid.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Child-Eating Airplane

A father is outside with his 4-year old daughter when they hear an airplane flying up in the sky above them.
4-year old: I bet that airplane wants to eat me.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The School And Work Problem

A mother is driving her 3 and 2 year old kids to day care...
3 year old: "Everybody is going to school and everybody's mommy is going to work"
2 year old: "Why?"
3 year old: "yeah... that is the problem"

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Fire

A family had Mexican food for lunch and later that evening, the 5-year old son calls out for his dad. When his dad finds him in the bathroom...
the 5-year old says: "Daddy, there's fire coming out of my butt!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Naughty Boy

Teacher is holding three-year-old boy on her lap.
The child looks down her shirt and says: "I can see your squishies!"
Teacher pulls her shirt up and says: "Ok, let's not look at that..."
Boy laughs: "That's hard to do because they're SOOOO big!"

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Chicken.. egg..

Kid "Who was the first baby?"
Mom "Ever?"
Kid "Yeah, because they had to have a mommy, but how could they?"

Friday, December 25, 2009

Run!

Timmy is up at bat in his Tee Ball (Little League Baseball) game. A pitch comes his way, he swings his bat and hits the ball to his surprise.
Timmy yells to his team mates: What do I do now???
Adan, one of his team mates, shouts from the dugout: Run like your pants are on fire!
Timmy then sprints towards third base, instead of first.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Illegal Download

A mother and child are at home talking about watching movies...
Kid: Mom, I wanna watch a movie, something I haven't seen yet.
Mother: Well honey, you've seen all the movies that we have at home.
Kid (wispering): You can download it from the internet.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Not when the elves are watching

Upon hearing that Santa's elves are watching and that violence against siblings will result in coal for everyone:
Kid: I won't wreck Christmas for anyone - I'll only hit her when something is blocking me, like the dresser, so the elves can't see.

Say What?

In class in pre-school...
Kid 1: Me and my mommy are learning two new words today: 'jealous' and 'mucho gusto!'
Kid 2: That's funny because my mommy says my daddy is jealous when he comes home from work.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

F**k Truck

A group of adults are gathered at the dinner table and their kids are playing near by. One of the kids, a 2 year old, walks up to them holding up a small toy vehicle in his hands and says: "F**k, f**k, f**k". The adults look at each other laughing, yet confused. The mother of the kid explains: "That's how he says 'truck'".

Wendy

A teacher is in the classroom with a bunch of kids and one of the kids has a conversation with her...
3-year old: What's your mommy's name?
Teacher: Her name is Wendy.
3-year old: That's a great name for a dog.